I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
