I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
