And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
