I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
