We won't sleep together?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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