Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
