Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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