Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
