idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
