Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
