Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
