We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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