He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
