I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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