Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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