Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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