I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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