There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
