I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
