exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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