my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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