And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
