the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
