i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
