i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
