She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
