Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
