are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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