Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
