hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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