Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
