your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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