shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
