I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
