The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
