So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
