i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
