I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
