I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
