The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I had to cum in my sink.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
