i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
