Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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