she woke up with a sticky ear
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it because I queefed?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
