I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
