Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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