I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
