Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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