Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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