Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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