i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
