He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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